Rainy Day Riding

It rained all day today.  It rained all day in the above photo too.  It sure does rain a lot sometimes.

Oh, how I hate the driving rain,
The blowing, slowing, soaking rain,
Blinding sheets and eyeball strain,
Frozen skin and muscle pain.

Wind numbed digits start to shake,
Churning knees begin to ache.
Maybe I should take a break?
Rest won't make a fraud or fake...

Freezing gusts drive me insane,
Stormy thoughts torment my brain.
Frozen flesh still burns with pain?
Why am I on bike, not in a train?

My mind begins to darkly learn,
It's only worse at every turn,
No escape for me from icy burn,
No warm respite, for which I yearn.

But through the blowing, slowing rain,
I find a calm I can't explain,
A cooler head returns to reign,
My hopeful spirits back again.

It's how it goes when out on tour,
Wind can blow and rain can pour,
A happy ride sometimes a chore,
Until the joy returns once more.

Muscles mend and knees unsprain,
Struggles leave, and strengths remain,
One day to suffer, a life to gain,
Come to think... I can't complain.

Tricycles Gangs

I was riding down to South Philly via the South Street Bridge today when I passed a guy on an ape hanger chopper.  I'm not that fast, he was just going slow due to traffic.  Traffic that's going to get a whole lot worse once the new Roberts Center for Pediatric Research is completed.  That's when things are going to get bonkers.

Anyway, I passed this guy on his hog, and kept going.  Then he passed me once the light changed.  Then I passed him at the next light.  Then eventually we met, with him stopped at the front of a long line waiting for the light to change at 22nd and South.  Stopped at that light, I got a pretty good look at him.  He was a stereotypically, tough-looking biker-dude.  In his late 40's or early 50's, he looked like he'd probably seen and thrown a punch or two.  Based on his sun faded jacket, he'd probably also put a fair amount of mileage on that bike.  I'm assuming that whole time he was checking out my sweet Ross cruiser and thinking about how tough I was too.

As we sat there, a pair of two other motorcycles rolled northbound on 22nd.  As they reached the intersection, they slowed and eyed up the guy next to me.  He eyed them in return.  Then they made hand gestures at him.  He then returned his own hand gesture; a standard Italian, closed-hand, wassamattawityouse gesture, accompanied by a frowny scowl (see below).

Eh!  Paesan!

After that gesture, the two guys rolled through the intersection and stopped at the northwest corner to talk to this guy.  This was it!  I was going to see a street fight!  A motorcycle gang street fight!  This was going to be awesome!

But there was no fight.  Instead, one of the two guys yelled over, "Hey, you want to ride with us?"  To which the guy next to me replied, "No, I have to ride to 4th St!"  And that was when I burst out laughing.  I'd looked at these bikers as macho tough guys, when I should have been looking at them like the grown up children we all are.  "Hey, do you wanna ride bikes down to the park?"  "Nah, my mom said I gotta get home before dark or I'm gonna be grounded."  "Aw, come on, stop being such a dweeby."  "I don't wanna be grounded!  We're supposed to go to a Phillies game this weekend!  They're giving away mini baseball bats at the gate!"

Apparently it's not that big of a jump from adolescent wheelie kids to adult biker gangs.  They just want to ride bikes and hang out with their friends.  I'll have to remember that the next time a motorcycle blows by me revving it's engine.  That loud rev isn't the decibel equivalent of a peacock's tail as I had always assumed; it's a sonic plea for friendship and camaraderie.  It's a call to the other vroom vrooms out there: "You wanna ride bikes?"

I Hate This Video So Much

Hey all, originally I was going to write about Corona Arch, a tourist friendly, heavily trafficked, natural arch just outside of Moab along the Colorado River, but while doing a little background research, I found a video that I decided I wanted to write about instead.  Let's start with the video so we're on the same page (if not of the same position):

Do not do this on a whim.

I really try to stay positive in this blog as there's already so much to negativity bombarding us every day.  Heck, my last post was about a little desert bird's song, which I'd say is pretty darn positive.  But this video, well, it just rubs me the wrong way, and I prefer to be rubbed the right way.  That said, apologies for the negativity that's about to pour out.  Just know that it's coming from a positive place, in that I don't want people to die.  In any case, if you've already reached your downer quota for the day, probably just skip this.  No need to make things worse.

Ok, let's get this pessimism show on the road.  First off, this video was posted by the YouTube user DevinSuperTramp (all lower on YouTube, but I capitalized for emphasis).  I'm assuming that this name isn't an homage to taking the long way home, but instead to the deceased hitchhiker, Chris McCandless.  I'm not a fan of McCandless's chosen alias, nor of the people that go visit that godforsaken bus outside of Healy.  If Devin chose his YouTube handle in an attempt to emulate McCandless, he was unfortunately successful, both in dumb name and in his recklessness leading others to their own death.  That first wrong rub came before I even clicked play, not a good sign.

Next up, where is the safety information?  This video shows an extremely dangerous activity, and there's not even a warning at the beginning.  Even the Jackass crew puts up a warning up before tying bottle rockets to their genitals, an activity far less enticing than rope swinging from a giant arch.  To start this video without a warning of some sort is completely irresponsible.  Ideally, I'd think the video would have an intro with a link showing all of the safety equipment they used as well as precautions they took, not just a warning against imitation.  Showing the inherent danger as well as the associated costs of preparation may keep some people from attempting their own jumps.

Corona Arch courtesy of Utah.com

Here's the thing about this whole stunt, there's nothing exotic about Corona Arch.  I know it looks stunning (in relation to where you live, presumably), but so does a lot of Southern Utah landscape (kudos if you live in the area).  Arches are naturally occurring in this general area due to its geological history involving prehistoric, mid-continental oceans.  Hell, Arches National Park is even closer to Corona than Moab is.  Corona isn't located in some faraway landscape that requires a powerboat or bush plane in order to be accessed.  All anyone needs to do is drive 20-30 minutes from Moab and then hike less than a mile.  Even getting to the top of the arch isn't that difficult, require neither special gear nor training.  All it takes is some vacation time and a little nerve or bravado, the latter being worse and rather prevalent in the "extreme" community.  So with the ease of access, why isn't there, at the very least, a safety disclaimer at the start of the video?  Anybody with more balls than brains could easily find themselves on top of this arch after seeing this video, and they need that safety check.

That said, a little over a year after the video was posted, someone did.  While attempting to recreate the stunt seen in the above video, Kyle Lee Stocking fell to his death.  He had miscalculated the length of rope he needed, and rather than swing like a human pendulum under the arch, he struck the ground.  Maybe if the video had some safety information at the start, this could have been avoided.  Who knows, though, maybe not.

In any case, that video racked up another 10 million views since Stocking's death (17 million prior), and safety information has yet to be added to the YouTube post.  Posting the video without a warning, while reckless, is somewhat forgivable.  Safety is a total buzzkill for adventure videos, and warnings take away from the fun, I get that.  In an effort to to look as cool as possible, someone touting their epic (the adjective usage of the word "epic" really needs to stop) lifestyle probably wouldn't brag about how much real effort and safety planning went into making their video.  But in the wake of someone's death, there's no excuse for not turning down the cool and putting up a solid disclaimer with intro links to instructional information.

That's my biggest gripe.  I guess anything beyond that is just petty and inconsequential.  Sure, the whole video looks like a douchey ad for Michelob Ultra, but in light of the above few paragraphs, mentioning it now would just seem shallow.  Ok, enough Curmudgeon Troy for one day.  Be safe out there, people.

Canyon Wren Doppler Song

Have you ever heard the call of the Canyon Wren?  It's probably my favorite sound to hear echoing through roofless canyon tunnels.  My least favorite sound would definitely be the rushing thunder of a flash flood.  Hypothetically, at least, as I haven't experienced that yet.  My current confirmed least favorite canyon sound is thunder.  Definitely have heard that before, sometimes while running top speed over erosion pocketed slick rock through a downpour on the way to a culvert trailhead that really seemed like it was closer but time flies and so does distance apparently.  I still have no idea how Quentin's phone survived that one.  The magic of bricks, I guess.

Canyon Wrens have a song that starts with a bland chirp not dissimilar from many other birds flitting about the landscape.  But their song takes a turn midsong, finding its own unique voice, and becoming distinctive from any other bird I know.  I'm not an ornithologist, though, so I may just be woefully underexposed to avian melodies.  If the song ended after two or three notes, it would just be any other songbird.  But it doesn't end at two or three notes.  Instead it starts with a chirp, and then goes into a long repeating tweet that seems to fade off into the distance, even if the bird is standing directly beside you.  Like its song is a toy train speeding by, down along the canyon floor.  My description is not doing that little bird's song any justice, so here's a clip:

Isn't it great?  Have you ever heard a bird call like it?  Maybe doppler isn't the effect I was looking to describe.  Listening to it now on a computer vs. in a canyon, it sounds more like an engine or turbine quickly slowing to a stop.  As if the song was a fan blade after the switch on the wall had been flipped in a room where inertia was disabled.  Or maybe the laws of physics weren't bent, but the axle connecting the rotor to the motor was.  Maybe the motor's about to fail.

In any case, lying on a slab of sandstone listening to those calls bounce off the fins and mushrooms of a staggered Utah canyon is just about one of the nicest ways to spend some time hiding in the shade from the summer sun.  I'd recommend trying it some time.  Canyon Wrens can be tough to find, but if you're really quiet, maybe you'll get lucky and one will find you.  In the meantime, just set that video to repeat for the next hour or so.  Your coworkers will love you for it.

Jigsaw Puzzles: Making Brains Gooder

After Capitol Reef came Moab, where I would be meeting Quentin.  I got there early, though.  I whole day early at that.  What ever is a person to do in Moab, UT for one whole day?  Visit Arches National Park?  Rent a mountain bike and tackle Poison Spider?  Psh... it was a no-brainer.  Jigsaw puzzles.  I was going to do some jigsaw puzzles.

When's the last time you did a puzzle?  Not a crossword or sudoku, but an actual 1000 piece, make the picture appear, no that piece doesn't go there so stop trying to make it fit, jigsaw puzzle.  Do you even remember the last time?  We did them all the time as kids, (You all remember those puzzles.  Disguised as fun games, they secretly taught us all about the alphabet, farm animals, and spacial relationships.), but then as we grew older, we ditched them, thinking there was no more to be gained from the assembly of their interlocking pieces.  For shame, all of us!  Puzzles are still important!

According to one article that I've read from a biased source:

Research is now showing the quantifiable benefits of carrying this activity into adulthood... jigsaw puzzles and other mind-flexing activities can actually lead to a longer life expectancy, a better quality of life, and reduce our chances of developing certain types of mental illness, including memory loss, dementia, and even Alzheimer’s Disease (by an amazing third). 

But how does this simple toy accomplish such amazing things? Most likely it is due to the simultaneous use of both sides of the brain. The left brain hemisphere, our analytical side, sees all of the separate pieces and attempts to sort them out logically. The right brain hemisphere, our creative side, sees the “big picture” and works intuitively. Both types of thinking are required in order to successfully piece the puzzle together. In exercising both sides of the brain at the same time, we create actual “connections” between the left and right sides, as well as connections between individual brain cells. These connections increase our ability to learn, to comprehend, and to remember. In addition, completing a puzzle, or even just the successful placement one piece, encourages the production of dopamine, a brain chemical that increases learning and memory. 

The connections made while working on jigsaw puzzles aren’t limited to our brain cells. Exercising both sides of the brain simultaneously also allows the brain to move from a Beta state, the wakeful mind, into an “Alpha” state, the same mental state experienced while dreaming. The Alpha state is where we tap into our subconscious mind. Jigsaw puzzles naturally induce this state of creative, focused meditation, where connections can be made on deeper levels.

Woah!  Who would've thought?  So much science, right?  And their sources are totally credible.  If you don't believe me, click on the citation links provided with that article.  What do you mean neither of those links worked?  Try clicking again, I'll wait.  Still didn't work?  Well, who needs sources anyway?!  In any case, you should keep reading below where they talk about jigsaw puzzles being a metaphor for life.  That's some deep stuff.

But really, what isn't a metaphor for life?  To prove it, I'm going to open up a book and flip randomly and then blindly put my finger down on a word.  Here goes: Page 111, "drink".  Ok, "drink"... Give me a minute... Ok, here goes: Life is like a drink in that you need to take it slow to properly enjoy it.  If you rush through either, you'll miss out on the subtle nuances of each sip/day.  When you're young/have a full glass, you want to grow up so quickly/drink as much as you can, but gulping down life experiences/drinks rather than savoring/learning from them will leave you wishing you had better used that freedom that comes with a lack of adult responsibility/full glass of beverage.  BOOM!  Everything is a metaphor for life!  Eat it, JigsawJungle.com!

Ok, let's get back to this.  While I was in Moab, I did a few with a rad Moabite and was reminded of how much fun jigsaw puzzles are.  The strategies (Edges first, obvs, but then what?  Sort by color?  By shape?  By section?).  The anticipation (I can almost see the mountain!).  The frustration (Did we lose a piece?  How am I not finding that piece?  It should be obvious!  It's neon freakin' green.).  The discoveries (Oh, right.  Colors are interpreted relative to their surroundings.  Neon freakin' green isn't quite as neon without it's surrounding neon pieces.).  And ultimately, the satisfaction that comes with patience and persistence (This puzzle has been conquered!  We are a team of geniuses!  How is it 4am?).

All that said, you should go do a puzzle tonight.  Start with a nice 500 piece puzzle and see how it goes.  I bet your brain will thank you in the morning.

I was ready to murder this sadistic ladybug puzzle by hour 6.