My Beard Maintenance SEO is through the Roof!

First things first, I got a job back in September, so my upkeep of this blog has really gone downhill. I look at words all day at work, and well, the last thing I want to do at night is look at them here. So if you're the one person that's been all like, "And then what happened on that Souther Bike Tour???", I apologize. I'll get there. Eventually. I'm paying for the domain, so I might as well, right?

More importantly, in the months since my last post, my blog's comments section has been hecka crazy. For over 100 posts, not a single comment. Then all of a sudden... BOOM! Three comments! That's, like, infinite percent growth. Yup, people are finally starting to take interest in Old Troy's blog.

You're probably wondering what amazing post spurred this soaring popularity. I'll give you three guesses. "The one about Subway"? No, though that would make sense since nothing came out since then. Also, I just found out that some people don't like Subway, which is weird because who doesn't like sandwiches that taste exactly the same regardless of the part of the world you're in? "Was it the one about that time you found your stolen bike after it was gone for eight months?" No, twasn't, though that was a good post. Real uplifting story there, but no. "I dunno... the one about beard dandruff?"

Correct! Amazing guess! Since it's post on August 1, 2017, that itchy post has reached a previously unimaginable commenting level! Here, see for yourself:

So comment! Such interaction!

I've been telling all my friends and family about the amazing turn of events, and I couldn't hold back anymore. I had to tell you too, blog reader. Allow me to give a play-by-play:

October 29, 2017 - Bradley Fowler comments that he has a better beard product than T-Gel, and kindly offers a link to said better product. What a guy!

January 22, 2018 - Calvin Ewers responds that while he doesn't have any male family members with beard, he wishes he did so he could buy them the beard kit that Bradley Fowler mentioned on Oct. 29, 2017.  No mention of female or non-identifying family members with beards, though, so he may just be publicly airing his private familial shame of male-identifying beardlessness.

January 27, 2018 - Burri 69 (you know this guy is up for getting down with a handle like that) lets Bradley and Calvin know that there's a better blog for beard care. Another blog? The nerve!

It's been a real rollercoaster since finding this fame. A lot going on these days in the old bloggeroo. Sure, you may think Troy's selling out by allowing all these hyperlinked, promotional comments, so to you I say, "Troy's not selling out, the world is finally buying in!"

(This post sponsored by the Dandruffed-Beard Advocacy Group)

T-Gel: Beard Dandruff Solution

For years, I've been forced to do battle with beard itch.  Not just itching, but also flaking, which can be embarrassing and off-putting.  There have been times that scratching my face has created a dead skin blizzard capable of shutting down I-5 for miles.  Flakes of dead skin just endless falling from my chin, my shirt covered in sloughed flesh snow.  As gross as that sounds, the itch is still the worst part.  Like my face is crawling with ants.  Flaky little ants.

Anyhoo, I've tried all sorts of different things to remedy the situation.  I've used anti-dandruff shampoos (H&S, Clear, etc.) and they couldn't even put a dent in the flakery.  I've tried oils (olive, tea tree, etc.), gently massaging in as directed, but all they've done is make me an even oilier Italian.  I even tried biotin supplements at the suggestion of a hair stylist whose husband faced the same problem years prior and found his remedy in that B vitamin.  If anything, the biotin seemed to supercharge my flaking.  Nothing ever seemed to work, so I'd inevitably deploy the nuclear option and shave off the whole damn thing, exposing a layer of dead flakes on my red, irritated skin.  If anything, I appeared to be allergic to myself and there would be no real fix other than shaving.

Glorious.

But then a friend recommended I try Neutrogena T-Gel.  He said it worked for him when nothing else would, so I figured it was worth a shot.  Well, I went to Walmart and bought the Equate version of the extra strength T-Gel, and holy crap, it actually worked.  For the first time in my life, I had a flake free beard.  It was a freakin' miracle.

Maybe not a real miracle.  Maybe just science.  But what kind of science?  The active ingredient in T-Gel is coal tar, and not knowing the science behind said tar, I checked out WebMD.  Here's what it said:

This medication is used on the skin to treat the itching, scaling, and flaking due to skin conditions such as psoriasis or seborrheic dermatitis. Coal tar belongs to a class of drugs known as keratoplastics. It works by causing the skin to shed dead cells from its top layer and slow down the growth of skin cells. This effect decreases scaling and dryness. Coal tar can also decrease itchiness from these skin conditions. (Coal Tar Topical - WebMD)

Shed dead skin and slow down growth of new skin cells?  That sounded like exactly what I needed.  I had way too much skin forming under beard and it was causing problem.  T-Gel was perfect.  But what about side effects?

Skin/scalp irritation or staining of skin/hair (especially in patients with blonde, bleached, dyed, or gray hair) may occur... Long-term use of this product can cause hair follicle problems (tar acne). (Coal Tar Topical - WebMD)

Skin irritation?  I already had skin irritation.  Staining?  I have brown hair, so no worries there.  Tar acne?  I don't actually know what that is, but it sounds like pimples, and I'm not too prone to pimples, so I don't care!  None of those side effects sound all that terrible when compared to horrible skin itching and flaking.

If you have the same beard problems as me, maybe give T-Gel a try.  It's pretty cheap, a bottle lasts a long time, and only has to be used every other day (or less depending on how bad your condition is).  Just lather up your beard in the shower, wash your parts, then rinse your beard, and you'll be all set.  And if it doesn't work for you, donate it to some other long suffering beardo in the hopes it will work for them.