Touring Tips/PSA: Handlebar Cell Phone Mounts

Ok, I needed to get on here to post a quick PSA of sorts. For the past five years or so, I've used one of those handlebar-mounted cell phone holders. They're great. They hold your phone while you ride so you're free to listen to some tunes, check your map, write a blog post, google "what are bear sounds," etc. I've advocated for them to folks in the past due of their usefulness. They've definitely made my touring life much easier.

That said, I realized a few years ago that while they're great for me they may not be the best for my phone. Now, before I continue, let me just say that nothing I'm about the write has been proven as fact, just as reasonable hunch. Additionally, I own zero stock in any bicycle equipment companies, though I do really like the folks at Nutcase.

Disclaimers aside, I'm pretty sure that handlebar-mounted cell phone holders wreak havoc on the touch screens of some cell phones. I'm not going to say which cell phones I've specifically had this problem with, just that it's happened to a variety of them, from multiple manufacturers. And I don't blame the phones, so no point in dragging them.

This thing. In the red box. I blame this thing.

But what I've noticed is that after a tour, usually within a month or two, my touchscreen goes to complete crap. It's happened to at least three phones of mine, and after the last one, I started to get suspicious. I'm real sharp like that. A tack. By "goes to complete crap," I mean that they get less responsive, less reliable, and more chaotic. And with time, the lesses got lesser, and the mores morer, until I'd have to get a new phone.

So my gut feeling is that all the potholes, rumble strips, and dirt roads shake the shit out of the inside of the phone so much that, over time, it craps out. That seems reasonable, right? Like, if you put your phone in a paint can shaker at Home Depot, and it stopped working after (even though there was no visible damage), you'd think, "yeah, that makes sense to me."

As an inquisitive person, I've taken these different dying phones apart and have found nothing wrong with them. I mean, I'm not a trained professional or a robot that could link up R2D2-style and perform a proper diagnostic analysis, but all the screws were still tight and nothing was rattling around in there. But still, the touchscreens all had similar problems. And all the problems happened after a tour. 

Does the correlation imply causation? I dunno. But I just wanted to get it out there before you broke your brand new phone. At this point, I think I would recommend one of those arm band phone holders that runners wear. Let your body absorb the shock. Alternatively, someone could come up with a shock absorbing handlebar mount. I'd pay upwards of $25 (USD) for something like that. Oooh, and give it a little waterproof rain cover as well as a sound funnel to boost the speakers. Yeah. Make that. Send me one to test and review. I'll give it 5-stars.

The Parable of the Three Water Filters

I was recently on the phone (talking, like, using my voice) with a friend of mine from Moab, and during our conversation, she reminded me of the famous local fable of the three water filters.  I couldn't remember the tale in its entirety, so I called the Grand Country Public Library and had a librarian track down the ancient, sun bleached scroll on which it was written.  From there in the Artifacts and Relics room in the basement, she read these words:

One summer day, under the sweltering desert sun, three weary travelers came upon the same hidden spring.  As they sat down upon the large rock covering the tiny oasis, they discussed the virtues of each of their water filtration systems.

The first traveler was a young man in his 20's, and he carried a gravity based water filtration system.  He stated that his water filter was the best because it required the least amount of effort.  All he needed to do was fill the dirty water bag with one mighty scoop and then hang the filtration system from a nearby rock, allowing gravity to handle passing the water through the filter to the clean bag.

The second traveler was a bearded man in his 50's, and he carried a standard, hand operated, backpacking filter. He claimed that the young man was wrong, and that his water filter was the best because it was the fastest.  Sure, it required more effort with all of the pumping, but the work was worth it, as his filter was 10x faster than the gravity filter.

The third traveler, a man by the name of Troy, also carried a standard, hand operated, backpacking filter.  His filter was different from the old man's, though.  Not in model, as they were the exact same, but in operation speed, as Troy's was only 2x faster than the gravity filter.  He said that he wasn't sure if his water filter was best, but he at least knew it was better than that slow-ass gravity filter.  He also had his suspicions that it might be better than the old man's due to some basic knowledge of how filtration through dense, semi-porous rock worked.

The first traveler died of dehydration on that rock while waiting for his clean bag to fill.  The second traveler (also) died of dehydration a few days later when he succumb to Giardia induced diarrhea, as his filter was missing a gasket and was not really filtering anything, hence the speed of which he was so boastful.  The third traveler, hydrated and in good health, eventually found his way back to civilization and lived happily ever after.

Moral: Water filters should pump slowly, as proper filtration takes time.  But seriously, gravity?  That's soooooo slow!

Some say that isn't a fable at all. That it's a true story you can still hear faintly echoing off canyon walls if you listen closely enough.  Still others say, "Yeah, that's a lie.  No one died.  The slow filter part was spot on, and the guy with the missing gasket is lucky he never got sick drinking that filthy, standing water, but other than that, this story was parabolic at best and braggartly at worst."  As it's an ancient fable, I guess we'll never know the truth...

This is the filter I use.  I love this filter and have used it all over, never once getting sick.  Please notice the red gasket that's faintly visible near the bottom of the main filter cylinder, just above the widened threaded bottom.  You need that.
(Photo courtesy of MSR)

Cryptobiotic Soil: Watch your step!

Last week, I spent most of a post complaining about people not issuing proper warnings, and in doing so, putting their viewers at risk.  In the days since, I've realized that there was an important safety warning that I should have issued prior to writing about the desert canyons of Southern Utah.  Not your safety, as I've written about nothing remotely dangerous to humans, but for the desert's safety.  When hiking or camping in that region of the country, with its harsh sun, whipping wind, and towering stone walls, it's easy to forget how fragile all ecosystems really are, and that every step you take could potentially set the environment back decades, centuries, or millennia.  In the case of those dry, stony wilds, there is a teeny tiny microorganism that is (almost) unnoticeably holding the desert together, and if you're not careful, you could easily wipe out vast colonies while dragging your tired feet through the sand.

A few days back (post-wise), I was in the Coral Pink Sand Dunes State Park.  Sand dunes are the result of wind having free reign to do whatever it wants with loose sand and fine dirt.  The biggest reason that rolling dunes don't dominate this whole region (as there is enough fine dirt to make many miles of dunes) is a fine crust holding much of the soil in place, made up of opportunistic bacteria living semi-symbiotically with moss and lichen.  This crust, called Cryptobiotic Soil (Crypto, for short), acts as a natural scab preventing the desert from hemorrhaging sand into the surrounding environment.  Here's a picture of what it looks like:

When I say "Crypt" you say "O"!  Crytp! O! Crypt! O!

In the above photo, you can see little Crypto neighborhoods surrounded by loose sand rivers, like a desiccated micro-Venice.  Without those little Crypto pockets, this entire photo would just be of loose sand.  Then, after years of wind gusts and rain, it would just be stone.  Now instead of a few square feet of Crypto, imagine acres of it, with juniper trees, cacti, and Mormon Tea plants growing throughout.  Crypto is everywhere in this landscape, and if it weren't, there wouldn't be a landscape to hold together.

So what is it?  Crypto is created by cyanobacteria that, when wet, move upwards in soil leaving a slime trail.  This trail then hardens in the sun, starting the scab, which allows for moss and lichen growth to follow.  The cyanobacteria then lay dormant until the next rain fall, at which point they start moving around again, forming a newer, higher (fractions of a millimeter) level of crust, which more moss and lichen can grow on.  It is a very slow process spanning centuries.  The highest I've seen in some larger Crypto cities could be measured in inches, which equates to hundreds of years of that bacterial scab holding the sand below it in place.

Aside from providing erosion protection, Crypto also performs the important task of fixing nitrogen in the soil.  For all of you non-farmer out there, sand does not make for the best potting soil.  Yet pinyon pines and juniper trees seem to pop up effortlessly out of the sandy, waterless soil.  What's their secret?  I'll never tell...  No, it's Crypto.  The secret is Crypto.  Aside from making crusty scab slime, the bacteria leaves yummy yummy fixed nitrogen for the plants that want to grow in the stabilized soil.

Now that you know how important Crypto is, and how the Utah desert would be a barren wasteland without it, you're probably wondering how you could do your part to protect it.  That's very responsible of you!  The biggest thing you can do is just leave it alone.  If you walk on Crypto, that's it, you've demolished decades (or centuries) of growth, loosened the soil in and around it, and have condemned it to death by wind gust.  To really hammer that home, here's info from a great article by Jayne Belnap of the USGS:

Because of such slow recolonization of soil surfaces by the different crustal components, underlying soils are left vulnerable to both wind and water erosion for at least 20 years after disturbance (Belnap and Gillette, 1997). Because soils take 5,000 to 10,000 years to form in arid areas such as in southern Utah (Webb, 1983), accelerated soil loss may be considered an irreversible loss. Loss of soil also means loss of site fertility through loss of organic matter, fine soil particles, nutrients, and microbial populations in soils (Harper and Marble, 1988; Schimel et al., 1985). Moving sediments further destabilize adjoining areas by burying adjacent crusts, leading to their death, or by providing material for "sandblasting" nearby surfaces, thus increasing wind erosion rates (Belnap, 1995; McKenna-Neumann et al., 1996).

Scary stuff, right?  So what can you do to help, aside from not visiting the Utah desert?  The easiest thing you can do is: Stay on Trail.  Crypto does not grow on established trails due to the amount of foot traffic they see.  Staying on trail may seem lame, but there's nothing lame about protecting the environment.  And if someone calls you lame for caring, let me know and I'll have a word with them.

That said, if you are unable to stay on trail, here are some other places Crypto doesn't grow.

• Washes - Washes form after a rain storm.  Crypto can't survive in a wash, since it will be swept away every successive storm.  Walk in washes.


• Exposed Rock - Crypto requires soil for the cyanobacteria to move around.  Exposed rocks that don't have soil won't have Crypto.  Walk on those rocks.


• Plants - Oof, this is a tough one and I'm sure fists are already being shaken in my general direction.  Avoid this one as much as you can, since you'll still be doing environmental damage.  That said, the desert is full of scrubby brush.  Scrub brush is a lot more resilient than Crypto.  If you have to choose between one or the other, step on the plant.  It'll bounce back, Crypto won't.

Ok.  I feel like that was a pretty good PSA.  If you didn't click on that link above, you should.  It's a quick read, very informative, and makes no buts about the importance of Crypto.  Here, let me give you the link again.  

So the next time you're in the desert, be Crypto aware.  Don't step on it, don't bother it, don't even look at it funny.  Oh, but you can pee on it: When moistened, the cyanobacterial filaments become active, moving through the soils and leaving a trail of the sticky, mucilaginous sheath material behind. (Belnap)

PSA: OTC Cold Medicine and Cycling

Having spent the last four days alternating between DayQuil hazes and NyQuil (I wanted to say "dazes" for the sake of rhyming, but we all know that's not how NyQuil works) blackouts, I wanted to put out a little PSA for anyone that's on tour and fighting off a cold.  I've been in your clipped-in shoes, person.  I know how it feels to be on the road, a few days out from your next scheduled stop, with swollen glands, a hacking cough, and a throat that burns with every breath.  A bad cold can put you in a real tough spot.  If you take some rest days, it could possibly throw off your whole schedule.  If you don't take some rest, there's the chance that things will get worse and end your whole tour.  What is a cyclist to do?

I think most people would say to just take some time off.  In a black and white world, that is the best solution.  And on a lot of bicycle websites, I'm sure you'll get that very advice.  Take some time off and rest.  It's the safest, most responsible thing to do.  No one ever died from some R&R, right?

Well, this blog isn't like most bicycle websites (at your peril, possibly).  No, sir or madam or n/a.  The safest advice isn't always the most practical, and I lean towards practicality.  Sure, you shouldn't touch a hot pot, but how are you going to strain your macaroni if you don't?  What?  Are you going to wait for it to cool completely?  But you're hungry now and mac n' cheese is better hot!  Face your fears and get an oven mitt on!  That said, if you get sick on tour, and don't have the luxury of taking some time off (it happens to a lot of us that poorly schedule our tours), you need the rhinovirus-oriented version of an oven mitt: OTC Cold Medicine.

I'm not sick anymore, but this view of Crater Lake is.

But here's the deal, life on cold medicine can be difficult.  For example, I started writing this two days ago when I was halfway through a dose of DayQuil, and now here I am two days later finally able to string sentences together into complete thoughts (please direct all snark to the comments section below).  Sitting down attempting to concentrate becomes difficult.  Walking around your apartment without bumping into the tables and counter tops becomes difficult.  Remembering why you were even walking into the kitchen in the first place, before you went and slammed your toe into the island making it throb with pain, sidetracking your already distracted mind, but seriously, why were you even walking into the kitchen?  What were we talking about?

So if everything else in life is more difficult on cold medicine (with the exception of passing out on the couch at 8pm while watching Stranger Things), why would it be a good idea to ride long distances on it?  Well, it's not, but again, this is advice for people who don't have a different option.  This advice is for the type of person who has places to be and specific times to be there.  The type of person that can't rent a car to make up for lost time.  The type of person that will not take 'NO' for an answer.  All that said, you really should take some time off and rest.

In any case, here are some ideas for you sickies out there that can't waste a day on treating yourself well:

• Avoid Drowsy Warnings - If an OTC has a drowsy warning, that is not the medicine for you.  Only daytime versions while riding.  Never ever ever ever take NyQuil and ride.  You'll die.
  
  Note: If you're on a prescription with drowsy warnings, you need to take some time off from riding.  Your doctor put you on an Rx for a reason.  Listen to them.


• Keep OTC Dosages Low - Take the minimum recommended dosage and put as much time between dosages as you can.  This should help keep the fog level down.  You could even try cutting the dose in half.  You don't need to feel perfect, just good enough to ride.
  
  Note: This only applies to OTC.  Always follow your doctor's exact instructions for prescription drugs.  Also, always finish your antibiotic script so you don't create superbacteria within your body.  Those things will eat your flesh.


• Easy Does It - Don't try to maintain a killer pace.  Your body needs some of that energy to fight off disease.  You're going to lose mileage per day while sick, and there's nothing you can do about it except make it up once you're healthy.


• Shorten Your Day - Cut a third (or more) off of your day (if you can).  As with the above tip, you can add the lost miles to your healthy days.


• Nap - If shortening the day isn't possible, wake up early in the morning, get a good morning ride in, and then take a midday nap.  Just find a nice patch of grass, lock your bike to a post (or your own leg with a cable), and lay down.  A solid two hours after lunch should get you primed to finish your day.


• Stay Alert - It may be necessary to offset your cold medicine with some caffeine.  That's probably not the most medically sound advice, but it's more sound than being run over by a car.  Use your best judgment with this.


• Listen to Your Body - I get that all of this advice is telling you to ignore your body, but again, life isn't binary.  If you are riding and you realize that what you are doing just isn't safe (can't concentrate, can't stay awake, dying), get the hell off your bike.  Days can always be made up one way or the other (hitchhike, rental, etc).  It's not worth putting your life at risk just to save some time and/or money.

Finally, please remember that I am not a doctor and that some of my advice may not be good advice.  These are just some (hopefully) helpful tips for the people that are going to ride while sick, regardless of how many times they're told that they shouldn't.  If you have any other thoughts, please leave a comment below.  And please remember that the best way to get someone to take your advice is to offer it kindly.  If you have advice, suggestion, or admonitions, just state them clearly and with as little condescension as possible, and people will probably listen to you.  Even if you have the best advice in the world, if you come off as a pompous ass, no one is going to care what you say.  Unless you're funny.  Then you can say pretty much anything you want.

Denis Leary - NyQuil